A couple months back I received a phonecall from an old friend. It was a belated “Happy Mothers Day” phone call. It wasn’t a text message. It wasn’t an email. It wasn’t a Facebook wall post. It was a phone call. And that little “slide to answer” on my phone meant the world to me. It warmed my heart.
A couple weeks prior to that, I received another phone call from another old friend. “You inspire me. I wanted to hear you voice,” Is one of the things she told me.
Although I don’t see these friends on a regular basis, they still are close to my heart. I spent a great deal of my “growing” years with them. Growing to become a better me, growing to learn more about who I was. They were there through this process. They helped shape the way this punk became (random, music reference. A prize will be rewarded to who can guess what it is from…)
I can’t go so far as to say that making friends was hard for me, but I can say that sometimes it was a struggle. I can’t exactly put into words what that means. But looking back, I was never part of the “in” crowd. I never felt as if I was “part” of something. I made close friends but as time went on, those friends drifted away. And now, in my 30s, that fact remains the same.
I look back at my wedding album. I look at the guestlist from that day. And as much as it pains me to say this, more than half of those friends in attendance, I barely have any contact with. Most of them have not met my daughter. Shoot, some of them may not even know that I have a daughter. This makes me quite sad. I’m not going to sit here and place any sort of blame on anyone for that. It is just a fact of life. It’s what happens as we move through this spectrum of light we call life.
And I am proud to say that I’m ok with that. I’m able to say that I’ve been in the most beautiful of friendships. I’ve met some of the most amazing people. And although some of them, I’ve lost touch with, I am honored to be able to have once called them, “friend.”
So, to all my friends that I’ve made through the years, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to share my time with you. Although this time may have been cut short, it was magical to me.
And to my friends that I have currently, may you be new or old friends, thank you. Thank you for sharing in the current magic of my life. The magic that is my daughter. And although some of you may not know that same magic yourself, thank you for still sharing it with me.
And to my friends that I will come to share life with in my future, thank you. I look forward to our bond that we will share. And thank you for waiting for me.