Bitten by a Stork

Zalyn was born with a little Stork Bite. When she was born it was on her upper lip, a little on each of her eyelids and up across her forehead. (She also has one on the back of her neck.) With stork bites, they fade over time. The parts on her upper lip and eyes have faded almost completely. But the little dash across her sweet little forehead remains just a tad. And I absolutely love it. It’s her signature. Everything about her is unique and special in it’s own way. The stork bite is no exception.

Now, if only everyone felt the same. It kills me when people make comments about it. I know, I know, I shouldn’t blog about negativity but I just have to get it off my chest. When people ask, “What’s on her face?”, “Is that a birthmark? Will it fade?”, “Aww, poor thing.” Really? She’s almost 10 months old and already there’s a wee bit of bullying going on?

Which brings me to my point. I’m terrified of bullying. I read these horrific stories about it and it just breaks my heart. I’m so scared that my precious little daughter will come home from school one day crying about how someone said something nasty about her. I know as parents we develop fears that just won’t go away. And I know that some of them are completely irrational. But, how can I not be scared of people being mean? It’s a mad mad world out there. How do we protect our children from the madness? Or better yet, how do we teach them to be ok with it?

I know that we have absolutely ZERO control of other people’s actions, their words and their opinions. The world would be a pretty dull place if so. So, it’s efident that there is going to be things done and said that we can’t agree on or like. So, that being said, I can’t really do anything about it. I just have to accept that people will say what they feel. I suppose it is how I feel about it and react to it that I can control. Just someone, help me with that part????


One thought on “Bitten by a Stork

  1. Joy Z. Kiefer says:

    I know just how you feel, believe me! Especially now, as we navigate the waters of upper grades and next year…high school!!! Yikes. But, you already have the answer to your ending question right there in your post. There is no way for us to protect our children from suffering and struggle, as much as we would like to because our hearts break for them. In the end, to try to protect them from their struggles does a huge unintended disservice to them. They don’t learn how to struggle, deal with hurt and pain, and when it eventually happens to them, they are not equipped to deal with it. Believe me, I watch it happen over and over again in my job.

    The best way forward, then, I have decided is to model the way for them when they do struggle. To assure them that they have what it takes to overcome and persist and to help them problem-solve the solutions to their struggles. To hold the pain with them, so to speak, so they learn how to move through it to the other side and grow. (To resist the urge to go beat the crap out of some mindless jerk for making your baby sad, too!!!)

    This is very hard because we as parents have to be very aware and vigilant of our OWN reactions so that we can model the way for our children. But, in the end, this is one of the greatest gifts of parenthood. Our children call us to the journey of building our own self-esteem, our own feelings of value, so that when they need help doing that for themselves, they have the best role models given by the universe…their parents.

    You will get there, my dear, because you are asking all the right questions, now. So don’t give into the fear of the unknown. Embrace it and continue your journey of self-knowledge.

    Of course, me being me, I have many books that I am happy to recommend and lend you!!

    Big hugs to you all. With much love, Joy

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